Mullet

The hair. Reno has a mullet. I'm not quite sure why, all I know is that it's there, and by some miracle he pulls it off.

What is a mullet, you ask? Why, it's a type of hairstyle almost universally loathed. It is worn only by white trash, and even then mainly in movies by comedic stereotypes. It's when you have short hair on top, long hair in the back, and as you can see, Reno clearly fits that description.

The question of his fashion sense is one of the most pressing questions in Reno scholarship today. Becasue he constantly comes off as a slick, cocky little jerk- an arrogant fellow with an ego roughly the size of Midgar. His untucked shirt, goggles, and laid-back posture give him quite a bit of charm. But, if he's really all that, why would he choose the mullet as his hairstyle? Is all of that messy-yet-sexy look just an accident? Is he really just a slob? Or is he just a fan of all that party in the back?

Shinra Haircare. Now, I'd like to humbly propose that the fact that Reno wears a mullet but makes it look good is due to Shin-Ra haircare. Frankly, Rufus (the president of the company) spends all day working on his coif and tossing his hair back like a petulant male model. He has hairflipping down to a blocky crudely rendered art. So it seems only natural that Shin-Ra would branch out from power, weapons manufacturing, and urban development to personal hygine. Let's face it- the mechanics of hair in FFVII defy physics- you'd need magic to keep some of those hairstyles for more than five minutes. Through a lengthly day of adventuring and battle? Puh-lease. So, mako-enriched haircare is clearly the answer. How else could Cloud's hair stay so pointy and still maintain it's silky texture? And how else could Reno's hair maintain that bright red color? And make a mullet look good? Magic is the only answer.

Of course, there's little to no ingame evidence for such a product, and I can't assume Square would be able to follow my brilliant line of reasoning. If so, I'm sure they'll start selling overpriced replicas. So maybe Reno has a mullet because he can. That is, he knows he can pull it off- he's got just that much in the smarmy self-confidence department. Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it.

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Script used: Enthusiast
Last updated: 5 August 2014
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Libertine is a tribute, fansite, and fanlisting to one Reno, who hails from the ever-expanding universe of Final Fantasy VII. As such, it should probably not be taken very seriously. It's also a fan endeavor, with no affiliation with the Artists Formerly Known as Squaresoft.